Sunday, March 31, 2013

Five Sentence Fiction

What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
This week:Flame

 Absorbing the tone and timbre of your voice, your words seep into my brain like a flower sipping rain.  A shivering tingling movement can be felt along my every nerve ending.  Traveling through my body it intensifies and builds until the blush on my face can be seen by everyone.  Warmth envelopes me.  Your words are burned into my heart by the internal flame they created.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Positive thoughts

I have been challenged by a person dear to my heart, who is the smiley face among all the sad faces (you know who you are), to find something positive about ageing and menopause.  I have thought long and hard, read numerous articles and googled "positve things about menopause".  There is really not much out there other than

  1. No more periods or PMS.
  2. You can have as much sex as you want without the fear of becoming pregnant.  (That's only if you've hit full blown menopause, but once there all the research points out you'll be so dried up you can't or don't want to have sex, unless you use some sort of prescription cream/gel/patch/pill to lubricate...oh sorry, this was supposed to be positive.)
SO...........I really had to dig deep inside myself and consider where my life is headed now as opposed to where my life was before the big "M" surfaced.

Actually I'm peri-"M, there's a Positive!!!  I have the opportunity to do the research and learn about all the changes that my mind/body will be going through.  I can talk to other women who are traveling the same road and learn from those that have already driven through.  By listening and absorbing I will be able to apply those experiences to me and hopefully pass them along to others.

Right now my life is headed in a direction I never thought I'd be taking.  I am a blogger and LOVING it.  Being a blogger is opening up so many doors for me I am overwhelmed, yet delighted.  Another Positive!!!

More Positives!!!

  1. My oldest son lives in New York is a successful businessman, has found the love of his life, a wonderful place to come home to every day and people to share it with.
  2. My youngest son lives close to home, is learning more about his field of work every day, has a wonderful wife and blessed child, my grandson who is the wonder of my world, and a warm, safe place to call home.

In reality the Positives are there staring me in the eye.  Stopping to think and not take things for granted makes me realize just how POSITIVE my life really is.  I will "Stop and Smell the Roses"

Thanks C...

Sunday, March 24, 2013

The wait is over.

It's been 133 days since my last period.  That's 19 weeks.  Today I begin the count again.  According to my Dr. I have to be without a cycle for 1 full year to be considered in menopause.  I have been a participant to this song and dance now for about 2 years, although this is the longest wait yet.

My hormones are very confused about how to behave.  They were usually very reliable about doing their job.  I could count out 20-25 days and yup around day 15- 20 I could feel the crankiness coming on and then a few days later I knew I wasn't pregnant. Yippee!  I did have a rather short cycle but it was constant. There were times when I was so grateful to see the first spotting, I know you know what I mean.  And at other times it was dreaded.  Vacation anyone?  Was it only me.  But every time we made plans to go away my period thought it was invited too!  I would try to figure out how to hide from it by forecasting with the calendar, most of the time without success.

The first time I  missed a period, besides my 2 pregnancies, I was 45.  I remember buying a pregnancy test and holding my breath while praying not to see the + sign.  In 2 excruciating minutes I found I was not to have a 3rd child.  Whew!  I did not want to be "that" woman.  Since then I have had many more missed periods.  It is becoming normal.  I admit it's rather nice not having to deal with pads, tampons, leaks and general yuckiness.  On the other hand this means I am ageing.  This is a bit harder to stomach.  I was at the Dr. last month and was handed a pamphlet about what to expect during menopause. After skimming through it I can tell you there is not much to look forward to besides not having a period.  We'll talk about that on another post.

So, although I don't particularly care for my period I am actually almost happy that it's decided to visit with me again like a long lost friend.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Sleeping in salt

Sound familiar?  It's all about the hot flash.  About 9 months ago my first sweat session began.  I have always been a "heater" as my love calls me.  This was an inferno.  Whew!!!  I thought "I need to turn up the air."  Living in Florida in the middle of July this is normal.  A degree lower every night for a few nights brought no relief.  Thermostat read 68 and my love was an ice cube.

A quote that I loved came to my mind during this time...

Much to my chagrin I was told by my Pharmacist I was experiencing a classic case of hot flashes.  I should have expected this, I'd been warned by my Gynecologist this was coming due to my history.  (More on this in another post)  Estroven to the rescue.  Within 3 days the flashes had become mere trickles.

I have learned to respect what my body is trying to tell me. Change is imminent.  Yet a new experience in life begins.  I treat the occasional hot flash as a way to cure my body of any lingering issues I may be guarding.  The cure being sweating it out.  It's time to let go of the known path and travel the path unknown.  I am ready to listen and learn.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

First thing I noticed

What happened to my 20/20 vision?  

I'll admit I wore corrective glasses for astigmatism from age 8 til about age 17.  I had the ugliest pair of glasses they made, black plastic.  Granted there weren't many styles to choose from.  I had them on my nose when I walked to the bus stop and as soon as I was out of my Mom's sight off they went into my book bag.  I swore my sister to secrecy.  It didn't take long for my parents to catch on.  After a "How's Barbara doing with her new glasses?" And a "I didn't know she wore glasses."  I was busted.  I remember the first day I wore my glasses to school.  I cried in the coat closet because of all the pointing fingers and giggles.  Pulling up my shoulders and taking a deep breath I walked into the classroom.  Of course the teacher, a nun, had to make a big production of these terrible glasses.  Standing in front of the classroom everyone got to take a long look at me.  Over the next 9 years I would get new frames and as I got older I was able to pick nicer frames. At age 17 I decided I wasn't wearing them anymore.  My vanity got the best of me.  

Fast forward to 2012.  Driving down the turnpike I look up to check the exit signs and it's all a blur.  A panic attack begins to blossom.  Am I going to miss my exit?  Is this the exit?  Should I start moving over into the senior citizen lane so as I slowly make my way I can try to read the sign?  My God what has happened to my vision.  Taking a deep breath I wing it and fortunately it's the right exit.  

The next day I schedule a long overdue visit to the Optometrist.  My Dr. is the same age as I am and I am a somewhat regular patient.  He says I now fall into the category that most mid forties fall into.  Can't see a damn thing.  Now the big question "Do you prefer contacts or glasses?"  I  prefer to go back to the eyes I had 10 years ago.  "Contacts!"  Now the fun begins.  I must see the contact "experts" to tutor me in the basics.  After several tries I get the contacts in.  Yippee!  Now I have to take them out.  This is easier.  I'm ready to call it a day and carry my contacts home to "play" with.  Oh no, put them in again, take them out again.  And over and over 3 more times. Maybe I should get glasses?  I soldier on and the "expert" tells me I'm a natural at this. 

 2 weeks later I get fitted for glasses.  I find out I must get progressive lenses, which will give me all 3 visions I need.  3 visions?  Near, far and slightly in between, for computer work for example.  I pick out a pair of, yes you guessed it, black plastic frames.  These frames do have rhinestones along the outer edge and zebra patterning on the arms.  I have to admit I am a teensy weensy bit excited.  I put them on and look in the mirror, not bad.  The tech counsels me that I will have to learn to use the glasses.  I roll my eyes, what's to learn.   The top portion of the lens is for distance, the middle for middle work and the lower lens for reading.  The tech asks me to read a paragraph on a card.  I can't read it. The letters are illegible.  I can read better without them.  I am told to look out the window if I look out the top of the glasses everything is crystal clear.  Reading is more blurry letters.  Once again I must practice.  

After going back and forth for adjustments to both the glasses and contacts I am now proud to say I can use both.  My vanity steers me toward contacts while my laziness loves the ease of glasses.  I get the best of both worlds depending on my mood.  Now if only I could afford laser surgery...

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

All new to me.

Looking to share my experiences with getting old...Yuck!  It has finally  happened.  I look in the mirror and the face I see appears a bit different every day.  Yes, I know this is part of life.  Could so much change in one day?  Eyes, bladder, size, skin, etc...  I'll try to tell it the best I can.  

Work schedule is a bit nuts, apparently this is in sync with everything else.  At least there is some continuity.  May not be here on a daily basis, although I will attempt.

Bear with me as I work out the kinks.  

Happy hormones on this 1st day of Spring!!!